Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I'm gonna teach my crotch to do math!

I was at work, sitting on break, flipping through a tabloid magazine to keep myself entertained. I can usually make it through an entire magazine in 15 minutes to get all that I want out of it on one break. I generally skip through the ads, but one in particular caught my attention a short while back. I was amazed that someone actually took the time to advertise that they were selling these. What was it? Wait for it...

"Designer" feminine products.

I would say that I saw it wrong, that no one would actually invent this, but someone did. Pads with patterns on them, and tampons in brightly colored applicators. Really? I really wish I could the inventor what on earth was going on in his or head (but I am assuming probably his) head when they came up with these.

"Anyone have an ideas for a new product?"
"I'd imagine that special time of the month would be so much more fun and exciting if a lady could bleed on a picture of flowers instead of a plain old, boring, no-fun pad."
"That's a great idea. Let's do it!"

Do these people seriously think someone's crotch is going to get so bored that they want to look at a pretty picture? Nethers don't have eyeballs, folks. I wonder if the dude that invented this is related to the genius that invented bras with patterns on the insides of the cups. If my chest or privates are that bored, maybe they should print the insides of bras and feminine products with Shakespeare or Calculus so at least those areas can learn something if they are that bored.

Meanwhile, the smarty that invented these is probably laughing all the way to the bank, while I am working retail, touching used toilets seats, dead fish, and sweaty worn clothes at the returns desk. 


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hot summer!

I don't really like the summer. Hot weather, tornado sirens, beach sand, humidity- ugh! Not really my thing. I'd be okay if the temperature never got above 75F. Alas, it hit 100F last week- on my birthday, no less- so I've been sort of melty and pitiful lately.

I am content to sit inside the house and relax on the couch or play with Curly Girly. Of course, she wants to go outside every day and stay out there for over an hour until I drag her in because I start sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat from. In fact, I think I may have grown extra body parts just so they can sweat too. :(

Apparently, there are actually people out there that like hot weather. Apparently almost everyone else beside me. So here we go, a song about it:

Yes, I am aware it's not in English. (It's in Korean, in case you are wondering.) It's called "Hot Summer" and the group is F(x). I like their songs, they are catchy. If life were colorful and un-sweaty like this music video, I might tolerate summer a little more. Thank goodness for air conditioning and popsicles in the real world!


Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm still here!

Yes, I'm still here! I watch too much tv and yet I have nothing too exciting to post about TV-wise. Wednesday nights I watch "Toddlers & Tiaras" with my sister, sort of. She lives in another state, but we confer over Facebook chat about the general zaniness of the show.

I think I might have more to say about tv once Playhouse Disney switches to Disney Junior. They have been building up hype for about 3 months, but I think it's going to be a letdown. We'll see. They have 3 new shows: Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Tinga Tinga Tales, and a Babar cartoon. The pirate show looks a little too mature for toddlers, Tinga Tinga Tales is a show about African tales, and the animation for some reason looks very stereotypically "African." I hope the stories are better than the animation. Babar is Babar, I've never seen him before but he's an institution- he looks cool enough. They have 3 new short segments too, "A Poem Is..." which looks cool except the voice in the ad sounds Joan Cusack-ish, and not in a good way, "Oso's 3 Healthy Steps," which my daughter will like and I will be annoyed by, and "Mouskercise," which I am sort of curious about. It looks like most of the lineup will be the same, except that "My Friends Tigger and Pooh" has been phased out and "Little Einsteins" seems banished to early mornings and holidays. "Charlie and Lola" disappeared a few months back too, much to the rejoice on my husband, even though I thought it was cute.

I was watching The Bachelor but it's turned out to be pretty lame and boring. I watched the auditions of American Idol, which are funny and really the only exciting and entertaining part. I've been mostly watching a lot of Disney Channel and way too much Elmo, as usual.

And in real life, things are going quite normally. I'm still working part time and spending the majority time with my daughter. My husband is still working from home, which has turned out really well for us so far. It's winter in the boonies, so it was getting pretty cold last week, with -35F wind chills at night. For now, it's warmed up a little, to the 30s and 40s, so I'm thankful for that. My daughter, Curly Girly, is doing really well- being cute, learning a lot of words, being a typical toddler. She recently learned to jump, which is super adorable!

And in internet life, I've cashed out for Amazon gift cards on,, and in the past week or so, ($5 on Swagbucks and iRazoo, $20 on Zoombucks), so I am raking in some nice $ to start off the year! I am saving for a new iPod Touch so hopefully I will have enough before my birthday in June. :)

Well, hopefully I'll have something exciting to ramble on about soon. Anything is more exciting than Disney Junior!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy 2011

Happy New Year....a whole bunch of days late!
Honestly, there's not much going on right now, so I don't have much to ramble about. My favorite shows aren't on right now. My life is pretty normal and boring at the moment. Two of the shows I like (America's Next Top Model and The Amazing Race) start up next month, I think, so I'll probably give my 2 cents about that.

Right now, I've been watching The Bachelor (trainwreck) and Toddlers & Tiaras (even bigger trainwreck). Actually, The Bachelor is pretty lame and tame compared to Toddlers & Tiaras! Those little tiny 2 and 3 year old beauty pageant contestants- getting spray tans, fake hair, and $1000 dresses- it's crazy! I saw a mom on last week's episode who gave her 4 year old 10 Pixy Stix and about a can of soda because the poor girl wasn't energetic enough! And one dad mentioned that his daughter was a product. Classy, isn't it? But I can't stop watching! Next week, one of the little girls brings a PONY on stage! I so have to watch that!

In my normal, boring, average life, I accidentally taught my 2 year old to say "stupid cat" last week. She's officially in her "parrot" phase and repeats near everything we say. She did let me finally put her hair into a ponytail, which was totally cute!

Hopefully I'll have something awesome to blog about soon! Happy New Year everyone!