Clouds of DOOM!

Three times in the last two weeks, I have managed to end up walking through the most heinous fart clouds. Now I admit, the first time I probably deserved it. I saw a poster in the clothing section and went to put it away, which caused me to lean over to about hiney level to do so. But the other times, I was standing at my full 5'6", too high to be crack level with anyone's stinky wind.

The second time was especially awful- it smelled like someone may have had a bonus come out with it. The third time was tonight, and this time was a coworker and not a customer. I told my husband, he seemed equal parts grossed out and amused. But then, when giving Curly Girly a bath, he walked out of the room to avoid stinking us out, then quickly back in and shut the door. All that did was trap the stench in. Boys are icky.

I feel like I have a Fart Ninja following me around. What did I do to deserve this? Do any of you get visits from a Fart Ninja, Fart Bandit, or Fart Fairy? I wish the Fart Fairy was more like the Tooth Fairy, so I could collect quarters for passing gas. But no, all the Fart Fairy does is delivers a stinky surprise.

I really ought to put on too much perfume so I can't smell anything else but myself.
-duckyone.