Saturday, December 11, 2010

I don't want your stupid vacuum!

So I was watching tv and getting ready to change Curly Girly's diaper tonight at 8PM, and my doorbell rang. Who would possibly want to see us at 8 at night? I peek the door open, and I see a guy standing at the door holding a box of baking soda. That's all the tipoff I need to know it's a Kirby salesman, from the Kirby dealership a few streets over. How do I know? They have the same predictable shpiel every time they knock on the door.

1. They offer you a free product. Today apparently it was baking soda, but in the 3 years I have lived here they've been here no fewer than 5 times and have also offered paper towels and tissues.

2. They offer to clean your floor for free.

3. Once in your door they take forever to show off their vacuum, they say that their vacuum gets up way more dirt than any other by taking a white circle and vacuuming against it so the carpet dirt goes onto the pad for you to see it more easily. My husband made the mistake of letting them in once and they also vacuumed part of my mattress apparently. GROSS! At least they put a clean white circle down, I guess.

4. They try to sell you a ridiculously overpriced vacuum. (I've read about people being charged up to $3000 for these stupid things.) Once you say no, they pretend to call their boss to get the price knocked down. I've heard the price being knocked down to as low as $600, which is still way more than I ever want to pay for a vacuum.

So here's what happened tonight.

*ding dong*
Me: *opens door* *Curly Girly has taken off her diaper and is running around naked and shrieking*
Kirby dude: Hi, I'm here from *insert random initials of some company here* and I'm here to do a survey on cleaning products.
M: You're here to sell vacuums, and I'm not interested. Sorry.
KD: How did you know? Has someone been here before?
M: Yes, several times.
KD: Ok, bye.

So I shut the door, grab a diaper and wipes, and manage to wrangle my daughter and am attempting to put on her diaper when I hear a knock at the door. Freshly diapered kiddo runs around some more and I answer door. There's a different guy, with the baking soda at his side like he is hiding it.

Me: Still selling vacuums, huh?
Kirby dude 2: *fake innocent face* What? Was someone here before?
Me: Yeah, like 30 seconds ago. Oh, and don't bother knocking on the one next door, my neighbor just moved out. (*That was true, neighbor moved out.*)
KD2: *runs off*

How dumb do they think I am? It may have been dark out, but my curtains are open because my Christmas tree is in the window, and I could see their car, lights all on, pulled up in front of my building. Do they think that since I wasn't fooled the first time that I might get a case of the stupids in a mere minute and be gullible when the second guy bangs on my door? And who thinks it's a good idea to try and clean a carpet and sell me stuff at 8PM? If anything, it's not easy to see dirt in your carpet at night, so their demonstration wouldn't be as effective. Anyway, it's just plain rude. Lots of people are eating dinner, having family time, or putting children to bed at 8PM. I've looked it up online and I am not the only one that this has happened to. Not even close. There are hundreds of stories of Kirby visiting at all sorts of weird hours, not telling why they are there at first, or claiming to be taking a survey when they aren't, and being charged way too much for a vacuum. Inside Edition even did a story on it a few years back.

I'm thinking of getting a No Soliciting sign for my door. Not that they'd pay attention to it. There was one on our last apartment's door and people would just come on in and bang on doors anyway.

And just so you don't think this is a Kirby hating post, it isn't, even though I am annoyed at them right now. There are also these college aged kids trying to sell magazines, saying they need a certain number of points to get to go on a vacation to Hawaii or somewhere equally nice. Usually I see their nametags or magazine brochure and I'm like, "I know you're selling magazines, I don't have money, sorry. Bye!" and close the door. The last guy actually said to me, "Don't you want to help me go to Hawaii?" Well, sir, no, no I don't. Why should I be pressured into buying a magazine I don't really want so you, who can apparently afford to go to college when I can barely pay my bills, can go on a fancy vacation. In fact, that $20 I spend on a magazine I don't want makes me $20 shorter for any vacation I may want to take some day. Or, more realistically, $20 short on gas money or my electric bill.

I live in a small "city" where most of the town doesn't have much. It's a nice place, but a lot of people are barely scraping by and a lot get government help. Kirby picked a dumb town to try to sell $3000 vacuums.

Sorry, but I just had to vent about this. I just get so annoyed when these people come to my door over and over and don't take no for an answer. I am especially annoyed that they tried to trick me. They didn't even do a good job at that. Lame.

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